Eustress
and Distress
Coming into money ought to be fun, happy, exciting, freeing-right?
You just got a great new job with a big salary and lots
of perks. You sold your business and are rolling in dough.
You've inherited money and are set for life. So why aren't
you happier?
The
immediate answer could be stress. Eileen and Jon Gallo,
authors of
Silver Spoon Kids
, explain that, "psychologists
classify stress as either good stress, known as
eustress
,
or bad stress, known as
distress
. Getting married,
having a child, receiving a promotion at work, or winning
the lottery are all examples of eustress; getting divorced,
having your business fail, or mourning the death of a loved
one are all examples of distress. Unfortunately, our bodies
don't make these distinctions. Both good stress and bad
stress are treated by our bodies as change, but our ability
to cope is what determines how the stress affects us. If
you have problems coping with the good stress from winning
the lottery or taking on the responsibilities of marriage
or children, your body will begin to exhibit sleep disruption,
aches and pains, and other symptoms usually associated with
bad stress." (From
Silver Spoon Kids: How Successful
Parents Raise Responsible Children
by Eileen Gallo,
Ph.D., and Jon Gallo, J.D., Contemporary Books, 2002)
Resources
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
The website of Gary Craig, creator of EFT, offers a free,
downloadable instruction manual for EFT, which has been
shown to be effective in relieving stress. Instructional
videotapes are available for purchase.
http://www.emofree.com/
For anxiety and stress case histories, go to:
www.emofree.com/anx.htm
Stress
Scale by Jon Seskevich
www.managestressnow.com/html/stress-scale.htm
Provides a checklist of life events that cause both positive
and negative stress, to help you determine the amount of
stress currently in your life.
Good
Stress, Bad Stress: An Indispensable Guide to Identifying
and Managing Your Stress
by Barry Lenson (Marlowe &
Company, 2002)
Does
Money Make You Happier?
One
study of two seemingly disparate groups of people- lottery
winners and people who had received severe spinal cord injuries-produced
a surprising finding: Initially, winners of the lottery
experienced a rise in their feelings of happiness. However,
after about three months, their happiness level dipped back
down to their pre-win level. That may not be so surprising;
after all, money doesn't buy happiness . . . However, the
same study found that while people with spinal cord injuries
initially experienced a dip in their happiness level, after
about three months their feelings of happiness went back
up to the level it had been prior to their injury.
This
phenomenon has led some researchers to speculate that people
have a "happiness set point"-a level of happiness that they
are comfortable with and are able and willing to experience.
A "positive" or "negative" life event may change the level
of happiness people experience, but only temporarily. After
a few months, it returns to "normal," whether someone has
experienced a positive or negative event. The level experienced
as "normal" differs by individual.
Some
researchers consider an individual's "happiness set point"
to be inborn, others consider it changeable. Dr. Pamela
Gerloff, editor of
More Than Money Journal
and practitioner
of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques, developed by Gary
Craig. See Resources at left), is currently experimenting
with a way to change individuals' "happiness set point"
through the application of EFT. To participate in the informal
exploratory study, please email
or call 781-
648-0776. For other ways to change your happiness set point
level, see:
"How to Get Happy"
by Alice Lesch Kelly
"The
Happiness Set Point: How and Why People Differ in their
Average Feelings of Well Being"
in
Happiness: What
Studies on Twins Show Us about Nature, Nurture, and the
Happiness Set Point
by Dr. David Lykken (Golden Books
Publishing Co., June 2000)
Assess your own happiness level
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