By
Gavin de Becker / Reviewed by Ruth Ann Harnisch
Afraid
to come out of the green closet for fear you'll become a
magnet for kidnappers, stalkers, and robbers attracted by
your net worth? Stop worrying. Here's the book that teaches
you how to protect yourself using your powers of observation
and intuition. Gavin de Becker is the brand name in personal
protection and violence prevention, advisor to presidents,
rock stars, and you. He tells the unpretty truth about violence
and victimhood in his book,
The Gift of Fear.
This
book is a compendium of the best advice you can get on the
subject. I know. I had to learn it all on my own.
As a
television news anchor, radio talk-show host, and newspaper
columnist, I dealt with almost every known genre of threat
and threatener. I met thousands of disturbing people and
hundreds of disturbed ones. For years, my stomach knotted
every time the doorbell rang. My scalp tightened when the
mail contained hand-addressed letters with no return addresses. Some of the graphic threats I received even upset the
cops working my cases. If I'd had this book, I would have
known how to stop the harassers from shattering my peace
of mind, because I would have understood what was going
on in their heads.
For
example, I used to change my phone number constantly. The
loonies always got the new number somehow. De Becker's simple
solution: don't change your number. Finding the new number
is part of the harasser's game. Simply stop picking up that
phone. Use an answering machine with a greeting recorded
by a friendly female voice, not your own (for sensible reasons,
which de Becker explains). The greeting should make it clear
that the caller has reached your answering machine. Next,
you get an additional, unlisted phone number. Problem solved.
No, it doesn't get the harasser off the streets . No, it
doesn't teach the harasser a lesson. Yes, it's inconvenient
for you and your friends to learn yet another new number,
and it costs money for the extra line. But it accomplishes
the main goal: the telephone terrorism stops. (De Becker's
firm, reachable through
www.gdbinc.com
,
offers threat assessment services if you want a pro to evaluate
the level of actual danger posed by your caller.)
De Becker
makes a convincing case that human behavior is basically
predictable and that every one of us is already an expert
at predicting what other humans will do. Here, he teaches
you to predict which people might pose a threat. You can't
change those people, but you can stop them from bothering
you by using de Becker's methods. The creeps will move on
to another target. That's what they do. Your weirdo becomes
someone else's weirdo. It's like the burglar bypassing the
house with the barking dog. If this doesn't seem right,
well, that's why the sign in de Becker's office says, "Don't
Come Here For Justice." He offers solutions. Those solutions
are seldom "fair."
The
Gift of Fear
is designed to help you prevent not only
the kind of violence you fear when you're known to be rich,
powerful, or famous; you'll also learn to prevent domestic
violence, workplace violence, and even random violence.
I've recommended this book since it was published in 1997.
Take it from me: you do not want to learn this stuff any
other way.
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