By
Christopher Mogil and Anne Slepian
It changed ours, from top to bottom. If we hadn't inherited
that money in our twenties, we wouldn't have spent the next
decade exploring money and values, wouldn't have written a
book about generous givers, and wouldn't have created More
Than Money. Everything would have been different--our home,
our friends, our calling.
Why is it that sudden fortune is like a
tidal wave in some lives and a ripple in others? Why do
some people seem to handle these changes more easily than
others? We've observed three factors that tend to influence
the changes wealth creates:
1) Amount of Money
How grand the wealth--both in absolute terms and compared
to your means before--makes a difference. (anonymous author's)
lottery winnings allowed his whole family to feel more financially
secure, while Lynnaea Lumbard's very large inheritance "swept
away" her old life, despite her wish to be unchanged. When
the two of us inherited, while the sum was not vast in absolute
terms, to us it was awesome, given our then modest means
and living expenses.
2) Stage of Life
How your life will change is likely to be affected by your
chronological age, but even more by your stage of life.
Even if Vaughn and Lynnaea's "before" and "after" wealth
had been identical, we predict life stage would have shaped
their different responses: he won the lottery in his sixties,
not far from retirement; she was in early middle age and
not truly fulfilled by her pre-wealth life (even if she
was attached to it). When our unexpected inheritance came
at twenty-four, our lives were still quite unformed. Had
we been engulfed in careers and children, as are many of
the same age, a different story would have unfolded.
3) Strength of Character
and Purpose
How solid and healthy are your values, your sense of direction
and purpose, your integrity, and your relationships? As
family wealth counselor Jay Link advises parents, "Wealth
does not build character; it only reveals it." Wealth tends
to amplify both strengths and we a knesses. If you think
of yourself as the container through which wealth pours,
with a small flow of money, cracks in the vessel might barely
show; but if money is a torrent, those cracks become painfully
obvious and may even burst. When we inherited, our values
and self-esteem were reasonably strong; even so, we were
young and, for a time, became lost in the quagmire of having
too many choices.
Many who become suddenly wealthy are ambivalent
about money changing their lives: while thrilled to be relieved
of financial worry and excited about greater freedom and
options, they are often worried about how their relationships
and identity may change. Whether the changes are small or
large depend, in part, on the amount of money and stage
of life they're in. But how well they cope with whatever
change comes will depend most on nurturing healthy inner
strength and a strong sense of guiding purpose.
Christopher Mogil and Anne Slepian are
the founders of More Than Money. They are award-winning
writers, presenters, and organizers on issues of wealth
stewardship. Their books include
Taking Charge of Our
Money, Our Values, and Our Lives; Welcome to Philanthropy;
and
We Gave Away a Fortune.
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